![]() ![]() Shakespeare’s funniest insults and put-downs ![]() King Henry IV (Act 2, Scene 4) “I must to the barber’s, monsieur for methinks, I am marvellous hairy about the face: and I am such a tender ass, if my hair do but tickle me, I must scratch.”īottom, in A Midsummer’s Night’s Dream, Act IV, Scene I “Mine eyes smell onions.”Īll’s Well That Ends Well (Act 5, Scene 3) It is like a barber’s chair that fits all buttocks, the pin-buttock, the quatch-buttock, the brawn-buttock, or any buttock.”Īll’s Well that Ends Well (Act 3, Scene 2) (Clown, in response to being told that his answer fits all questions) King Henry IV (Act 2, Scene 4) “There live not three good men unhanged in England: and one of them is fat.” “Virginity breeds mites, much like a cheese.”Īll’s Well That Ends Well (Act 1, Scene 1) “I do desire we may be better strangers”Īs You Like It (Act 3, Scene 2) “Come, thou monarch of the vine, Plumpy Bacchus with pink eyne!”Īntony and Cleopatra (Act 2, Scene 7) “If manhood, good manhood, be not forgotten upon the face of the earth, then am I a shotten herring (a herring which has spawned).” So let’s start looking at the funniest Shakespeare quotes: Shakespeare’s best one-liners So in this selection of funniest Shakespeare quotes we’ve stuck to the most amusing Shakespeare insults, a few obviously funny one-liners, and finish with one of Shakespeare’s dirtiest jokes which does require some explanation, but is worth it. Due to the evolution of language since Shakespeare’s time it can often be hard to understand exactly where something amusing is being said when watching or reading Shakespeare… and if you have to explain a joke then it often loses its amusing quality! Whilst Shakespeare plays did have jokes in the. The same cannot be said of Shakespeare’s jokes. On this page, we’ve pulled together a selection of the funniest Shakespeare quotes.Īlthough Shakespeare wrote more than 400 years ago, many of his words are timeless, with the ability to succinctly write about themes that capture universal human emotions, and are highly relatable even today. Each Shakespeare’s play name links to a range of resources about each play: Character summaries, plot outlines, example essays and famous quotes, soliloquies and monologues: All’s Well That Ends Well Antony and Cleopatra As You Like It The Comedy of Errors Coriolanus Cymbeline Hamlet Henry IV Part 1 Henry IV Part 2 Henry VIII Henry VI Part 1 Henry VI Part 2 Henry VI Part 3 Henry V Julius Caesar King John King Lear Loves Labour’s Lost Macbeth Measure for Measure The Merchant of Venice The Merry Wives of Windsor A Midsummer Night’s Dream Much Ado About Nothing Othello Pericles Richard II Richard III Romeo & Juliet The Taming of the Shrew The Tempest Timon of Athens Titus Andronicus Troilus & Cressida Twelfth Night The Two Gentlemen of Verona The Winter’s Tale ![]() This list of Shakespeare plays brings together all 38 plays in alphabetical order. Plays It is believed that Shakespeare wrote 38 plays in total between 15. ![]()
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